Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
