my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
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