Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
