What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
