The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
