i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
