You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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