just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
