I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
