You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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