if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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