he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
