Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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