Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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