mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
