i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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