Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Randomize
