Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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