no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
