we're chasing vodka with high fives
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
