I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
