Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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