He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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