The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
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