he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
