is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
