My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
