My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
the night ended with taco bell and tears
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Randomize
