There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Randomize
