When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
