Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
