girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
