so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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