i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Green mimosas i think yes
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
