it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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