so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Liz is crying about burritos again.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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