you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
