Whod you bang
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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