haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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