I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
