just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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