whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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