How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
