Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
