My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
