Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
