i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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