I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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