I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
