i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Randomize
