That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Randomize
