i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
