It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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